24.6.11
18.6.11
speed of light in a vacuum, in any given medium
dear diary, outside my sphere of obsidian tears pitch black thunder, a pack of werewolves wailing to the drum of the glimmering downpour binocular vision through damp leaves, her majesty of trees: you. mathew, theo, isabel, the seductive breath of opium. - but he was never inside of you? - he has always been inside of me. for you are the children of lingering nightmares latent desires and hummingbirds, missiles of destruction in a crystalline vase.
you, through endless simplification: a monsoon without mercy, the plunging waterfall of yesterday hippie crystals, achromatic prisms, diamonds like eyes, eyes like fire vive la décadence. yours truly, candy darling, creamy summer bloom a bending reflection, translucent, yet again.
how can you cure yourself when every part is infected name the thing able to heal the hole torn by a loved one lost he left her hanging by the snowflakes or standing among in a flock of sleeping flamingos, a myriad of indistinguishable faces. when i tell you - my love equals beaks times the thought of freedom squared you vapourise, turn into the ocean floor, the shattered walls of my castle in the sky your sharpened hands charging through secrets like lightning.3.6.11
rainbow raven, rainbow river
dear diary, i apologise. i haven’t been able to write for a while, i got desperate lost control tried to cut myself open with a kitchen knife just to get an idea of what is moving around inside and i set my intestines on fire for the ultimate sacrifice. isn't it striking, how every action is ultimately completely symmetrical.
nightfall leaves me craving the most unfathomable things, pouring rose water over pagan faces simply to keep them in place, crawling around in my own dirt, creeping at the feet of a sullen master. i’ve told you once before, your highness, my princess prostitute mankind upsets me more than anything. so bow, children of the rainbow the judge is ready for our crucifixion
psychotic schoolgirls licking on fentanyl plasters dried up lollipops pornographic novels standing in line like kinky toy soldiers
i am the rain an exploding ejaculation crimson skies internal bleeding heart burn stomach ache a disease that will never go away. longing for a dismal future any future painting him dancing in the foreground i would do anything for the saddest mind alive, our shaved heads like lifeboats white frocks sterile scalpels minimalistic clean cut veins bursting open like bedroom doors, LE GRAND FINALE, inject his poison, forever yours.
and i want to download every single picture of you, dress up like a commander in chief captain of the sea a furious shadow play waggling tail and bunny ears, i want to cover my body in the blurry edges of your ghost, paint the walls of the parliament in colour no #1 the slight tint of your neck someone once told me
you always speak in riddles you are fading away i could never begin to understand like a frozen fire a room covered in broken mirrors a black hole wishing well put your ear to my chest listen to a thousand songs the restless chorous19.5.11
why is it so daunting, walking amongst people who
can see you
1. i guess you could say that i have gone into hiding again, that i react
to emotions like a painting, noting nothing but colours.
2. the phone is constantly ringing, it is such vicious sound.
3. i like to think of myself as a wounded general in a hollywood tragedy,
trapped in a bunker with nuclear bombs hanging in thin air, clusters of perfectly
ripe grapes, a zeppelin lingering in the smoke screens above
4. blockbuster the sequel, for some foggy reason the underground is empty,
the bomb did not detonate, i will not ask were everybody has gone
their voices can be seen flying like meteors between the s p a c e s
5. admittedly, it is kind of thrilling knowing that soon this, whatever we take it for
will be hiroshima.
6. with a calm longing for that magical moment
i stand wrapped in velvet curtains, a feather boa and a cowboy hat
7. i have not been touched for decades and i think i might be carrying a gun
someone shouting a sequence of numbers.
everything began to count
we were born on that exact moment.
16.5.11
birdbath, blow a wish
13.5.11
touching all four walls with the tip of my tongue, one toe in every corner.
maybe there is an equation for this disease,
order to the universe.